The hidden value in awkward silences

After having had several one to one meetings both in a professional and non professional context, I've come to notice that the most valuable stuff gets said when we don't expect anything to be said.

For instance, when we ask a question, the other person might start answering full of energy, explaining the surface of the problem very well. But after a couple of minutes, they will run out of things to say, or so we think. This typically leads to an awksward silence that is usually broken by another question or change of topic.

The next time you are in this situation, don't break the silence, just let it be. Stare at each other for a few seconds and share a look of encouragement. More often than not, the other person will continue talking about whatever they were talking, and give you some really valuable information that helps you understand the problem or situation with much more clarity.

I have been using this technique in one to one meetings with mentees for a while now. I've found it's the best way to understand the root of their problems and frustrations, because the most honest things get said after those awkward silences.