Understanding Burnout

I've always associated burnout with overworking, and I think most people do as well. However, that hasn't been my experience at all.

Maybe because I wanted to avoid burnout, and maybe because I wanted to pursue other things besides work, I always aimed to work a healthy number of hours. Enough for me to achieve my goals but not so many that it prevented me from enjoying other aspects of my life. Everything seemed good on paper. I wasn't working more than 40 hours per week. I was exercising at least 5 times per week. Money was not an issue. And I had good relationships with my partner, friends and family.

However, I began to feel utterly drained by work. Thinking about it became daunting. I wasn't able to pay attention in meetings, and I began to feel as though I was wasting time on processes where I added little value. This feeling of uselessness was amplified by office politics. At the start of each day, I found myself lacking interest and motivation to dive in. I started dreading Sunday nights.

Gradually, I started thinking about quitting. I realized that although my job paid well and looked good on paper, my feelings of being drained and unmotivated weren't going away. They would likely continue to worsen. I knew I wasn't happy, and that feeling was a clear sign. This internal debate lasted a long time. Initially, I tried to ignore these feelings, sweeping them under the rug. But I realized I was just delaying a change that eventually had to happen. And the longer I delayed, the more difficult that change would become.

So, even though I wasn't sure what was going on or what I'd do next, one thing was clear: I didn't want to stay in my current job. Leaving would give me perspective, time, and space to think about the future. With that in mind, I took the plunge and quit.

After quitting, I felt a huge sense of relief, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It felt right. During this time, I spoke to friends in the industry who had been through similar situations. I realized this was not so uncommon and I was far from the first person to go through it. Everyone I talked to felt the same way, trapped by red tape. Meanwhile, I stumbled upon articles that explained burnout in a new light, showing it wasn't solely linked to overwork.

So, what exactly is burnout?

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought about by prolonged or repeated stress. It is more than just feeling tired or worn out after a long day. It can appear in various ways and for different reasons. It can affect your ability to perform at work, your interactions with family and friends, and even your sense of self.

For me, burnout showed as a significant gap between my current role and my career goals. I felt held back, like I couldn't use my skills in a meaningful way. This tension wore me down over time, creating a sense of discomfort that I couldn't ignore.

This sense of burnout was amplified by the work environment, specifically in big tech. While these roles may offer higher pay and prestige, they come with a lot more stress. On-call shifts are intense and even when you're not officially on-call, you might be contacted for work emergencies. You're never fully disconnected, and the constant sense of urgency can easily overwhelm you. When new issues pop up daily, staying calm becomes tough. Lastly, the cutthroat competition, driven by regular performance reviews and clear promotion paths, keeps you in a never-ending race. To truly thrive in such an environment, you need to be passionate about your role or projects, which I wasn't.

I think smaller companies are less likely to cause burnout compared to big tech. But some factors can lead to burnout no matter where you work. Feeling like you can't make a meaningful impact or disagreeing with the company's values can lead to self-doubt. Being overwhelmed with too many tasks can make you feel defeated. Having no say in your work or schedule can lead to a sense of powerlessness. Insufficient emotional, financial, or social recognition can make things worse. Struggling to juggle work and personal life can add stress. A toxic office environment, with bad relationships, competition, or lack of support, can drain you emotionally.

If you're dealing with burnout, start by noticing your uncomfortable feelings as signs, not distractions. Keeping a journal can help you understand what's causing your burnout. Everyone's triggers are different. Identify yours to find the best way to cope. Simple things like exercise, good sleep and setting limits at work can make a big difference. Talk to friends and family for support and to gain perspective. Keeping a healthy life, physically, emotionally and socially, helped me narrow down the problem. You'll be surprised by how many of your friends have gone through similar things. Finally, think about your goals and values. Sometimes burnout means you need a change, like a new job role or even a new career.

Ultimately, quitting my job was only the first step in a longer journey. While it helped in the short term, it also left me without a job and a steady income—clearly not my end goal. Now I'm focused on finding a sustainable way to earn a living that is in alignment with my personal values and allows me to avoid burnout.